Hugo Boss breezes into my kitchen, reeking of vermouth and cigarettes. He is tall, with a long neck, and he is skinny like an anorexic cheerleader. Hugo Bossanova is prettier than an anorexic cheerleader. His grin is goofy, like an animated frog, but he knows it, so he hides it. Try to make him laugh, it isn't that hard, and watch his thin lips curl up and his gaunt cheeks get sucked in by his guffaw. Let's go dancing.